Under the weather

Far be it for me to make a fuss - but I'm still ill. Currently eating porridge in a bid to make a miraculous recovery but I fear I'm too far gone. Always get a bit frustrated when I get the lurgy - all this hanging around waiting to get better seems a bit of a waste of time.

There are better things to do in life than cough, sneeze and blow your nose. Talking of which - have you ever noticed some people are much better at it than others?

Go at it with great gusto usually into something spotty. They're the sort of people who sneeze with an "atchooo" which registers a 6 on the National Geographic Society's seismic survey.

Others look positively embarrassed about the whole thing and turn their heads away hoping no-one will notice. I'm somewhere in between. Slightly half hearted, slightly awkward. Had a great guest on the show a couple of months ago talking about customs around the world and apparently the Japanese can't for the life of them understand the concept of handkerchiefs.
Why would you keep something in your pocket which is covered in precisely what you're trying to get away from. I always remember when I was young my mum used to keep her tissues up her sleeve.

As a 6 year old it was amazing when she'd whip out a hanky like some sort of magician. Always convinced a bunch of flowers and string of knotted handkerchiefs would follow.

Anyway it's not like I've got the Black Death but ... being a man - it's all very serious. Have decided not to go to footy tonight - it's the first one back after the New Year.

Tristan Pascoe (TP) has put on a few pounds - perfect opportunity to poach a few goals as he waddles about. No doubt will hear all about it tomorrow - especially if he scores.

Producer Al called about the show and more importantly beers later in the week. Work then bed. More porridge needed. Really must finish painting kitchen ceiling.

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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website.