In need of something savoury

Am feeling slightly unwell.

May be something to do with consuming a victoria sponge, a chocolate and coca cola cake and a tomato soup cake. If that wasn't bad enough here's the recipe, as promised, for the chocolate and mayonnaise cake. (Thanks to Rona)

Oh - and it's in American measurements. I appear to have had trouble with my cup sizes. Apparently it's a common trait in most men.

Chocolate Mayonnaise cake

A chocolate mayonnaise cake, made with mayonnaise in place of eggs and oil.

Ingredients:
* 2 cups flour
* 1/2 cup cocoa
* 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 cup sugar
* 3/4 cup mayonnaise
* 1 cup water
* 1 teaspoon vanilla

Preparation:
Sift together the flour, cocoa, soda and salt. Cream together the sugar, mayonnaise, water and vanilla. Add dry ingredients to the creamed mixture; stir until well blended. Pour batter into greased and floured layer cake pans (or a 9- x 13-inch pan). Bake at 350°F. for about 25
minutes.

Enjoy?!

So here's the joke ...

A man sits at a cafe, enjoying an after work aperitif, when a gorgeous young woman walks in. He cannot take his eyes off her. The woman notices his attentive stare and walks directly toward him. Before he can apologize for staring, the woman says, "I will do anything for you, absolutely anything, for just £100. There's only one condition."

"What's that?" asks the flabbergasted man.

The woman says: "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words".

The man considers her proposition for a moment, withdraws his wallet from his pocket and slowly counts out five twenty pound notes, which he presses into her hand. He looks deeply into her eyes as he says ....

"Paint my house."
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Mental Maths today left everyone going round in circles. A little bit sneaky I know but I think you all enjoyed it. Here's what happened.

YOUR STARTING NUMBER TODAY IS ... 97

take off 8
minus 12
subtract 15
take off 6
subtract 8
take off 19
minus 13
plus 81

AND THAT'S YOUR FINAL ANSWER ... 97