The simple things

All I'm going to say is ....

Picked up the ball on the halfway line, skipped past one, cutback past another, into the box - one more to beat, faked a left, went to the right - and curved it right to left on the outside of the boot.

Life went into slow motion, for an instant the world held it's breath, the keeper stayed put beguiled by the sheer sporting poetry of the moment as the spinning ball danced into the back of the net.

That was a moment.

That is living.

That, as Lee McKenzie would say, is whadi'mtalkinabooouuuutttt!

(The fact I missed another 4 or 5 absolute sitters and couldn't hit a barn door from 3 paces for the rest of the game and can't quite walk straight today .... well - that kind of spoiled the story).

So here's the joke ....

A husband and wife were sitting out on their back porch, enjoying a glass of lemonade after a long hard day. A bird flew over and, with perfect aim leaves a deposit squarely in the middle of the wife's head. She reached up, felt the damage, and shouts 'Quick, get some toilet paper.'

'It wouldn't do any good,' replies the husband. 'He's miles away by now.'

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Mental Maths time and I promised no fractions today. All fairly straight forward if you had your wits about you. It's just the big subtraction in the middle which threw a few.

YOUR STARTING NUMBER TODAY IS ... 3

times 3
times 3
times 2
times 3
take off 74
divided by 11
times 3
halve it ....

AND THAT'S YOUR FINAL ANSWER ... 12