Tuesday, 5 August 2008

Bin busy

Producer Alun has made a good point. You can never have too many bins.

I've just noticed I haven't got even near enough. Am taking this whole recycling business seriously now (my token effort to save the planet). But the problem is you appear to have to be ultra organised in order to prevent a global catastrophe of biblical proportions (that my be over egging the pudding slightly but never let facts get in the way of creative writing).

Anyway I no longer can just have a rubbish bin and a recycling bin - it doesn't work. That would be far too simple. I've worked out I need five bins. Rubbish, food waste, glass, newspaper and cardboard - oh and plastics - apart from of course yoghurt pots but that's another story. Anyway the problem is if I invest in five bins I will no longer be able to get in or out of the kitchen. I definitely won't be able to reach the switch for the boiler meaning that in my effort to save the planet I will have left the central heating on for a hundred years so melting both polar caps, running up a third world debt (gas ain't cheap) and ending mankind.

So technically the most environmentally friendly thing I can do is just to put it all in the same bin meaning that I'll be in total control of my radiator temperatures thus saving the planet.

Besides I can always just bury it all along with all that nuclear waste. I'm sure it'll be fine, won't it?

So here's the joke ...

A brown paper bag goes to his doctor feeling unwell. The doctor takes all sorts of samples and says to the bag to come next week. Next week comes and the doctor says, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news. We discovered from your tests that you've got an hereditary disorder."

"Really?" says the bag. "How can that be? I'm a brown paper bag."

"Ah yes," says the doctor. "But your mother was a carrier."

And new from today here's the answer to today's Mental Maths. Check it out on the show weekdays at 11.15am. Lots of people got it wrong today. Here's the solution.

give me 3 fifths of that
50 percent of that
a third of that
divided by a half
double it
plus 1
times by a third
add that to the starting number


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