Wonky wheel

There I was getting all healthy and credit crunch savvy. My big plan - to save millions of pounds in petrol per week and cycle in to work. Granted it's only about 3 miles but I figured that's got to save something (especially with current fuel prices) and also give the creaky old knees a work out.

It's a win win situation.

Well - it would have been if I hadn't suffered from a wonky wheel. Am fairly sure Lance Armstrong gets it from time to time. For no reason I can figure my back wheel has decided that straight and upright is a bad thing and that loose and wonky is better. I felt a bit like Bonzo the Clown - all I needed was a squirting flower, a big pair of tartan trousers and some size 18 shoes. In the end I had to get off due to the embarrassing squeaks and scrapes and the fact I was scaring small children and animals. Strangely it's a longer walk than it is a cycle.

The greater worry is that it was the back wheel which would imply it was somewhat overloaded. Quite with what I couldn't imagine - however I'm starting to get the message.

Diet, anyone?

So here's the joke ...

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.

The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."

"Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off."

"Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "It was the day after I got me hook."

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Here's the answer to today's Mental Maths. Check it out on the show weekdays at 11.15am. Lots of people got it right today. But not everyone. Here's the solution.

YOUR STARTING NUMBER TODAY IS ...

8
times 8
double it
take away 30
halve that
divided by 7
add 10
add 18
divided by 5

AND THAT'S YOUR FINAL ANSWER .... 7