"We really must ...."

How many times have you said that? Possibly to a friend, to family, to someone you haven't seen for ages and just bumped into on the street. How many times have you said "We really must meet up/go for a beer/have you over ...."

And how many times has it actually happened?

I had some new neighbours move in about six months ago. Said a cheery hello to them as they lumped their furniture from van to new home. Said they really should come over for a beer or something to eat. And how long did it take? Six months.

I am soooo rubbish.

And I can make all sorts of excuses about not having enough time or being too busy. But last night was great fun and they're both truly lovely people - subjected them to my cooking, plied them alcohol and even got the guitars out. Am fairly sure they enjoyed themselves although haven't seen them since. Anyway until I find out they're planning to sue me for too dull a night I'm thinking should have done it months ago.

And it got me thinking - next time there's a "we really must ..." situation why don't we all just set a proper date there and then.

No, really, we must ...

So here's the joke ...

The manager of an old people's home decides to hire an animal act to entertain everyone at the home's annual tea party. He calls a theatrical agent and asks what sort of acts he has on offer.

"I've got a tiger," says the agent. "It does a high wire act and juggles plates."

"Too dangerous," replies the manager. "It might fall on someone or bite them."

"How about a performing seal?" asks the agent. "It can play musical instruments."

"Too noisy," replies the manager, "The old folk won't like it. What we need is something unusual but nice a sedate so it won't upset them."

"I know," says the agent. "How about Morris the gibbon. He's very quiet and all he does is card tricks."

"Sounds good," says the manager. "Let's try a mellow gibbon round the old folk's tea ..."