If I was in Snow White I'd be ...

... Grumpy.

Have decided urgent action is needed on the spare tyre front and so have just returned from an enormous lunch of 1 banana and 1 avocado. I mean don't get me wrong - I'm not about to go on a crash diet but I think the time may have come for me to a) eat less and b) do more (the boss has been saying that for ages.)

As a creature of habit I don't actually mind doing a bit of exercise - infact I quite enjoy it. But it's just the thought of it which always proves worse than it actually is. A bit like the dentist. Actually no - scrub that - a bit like everything apart from the dentist (sorry Clive, nothing personal).

Anyway am now on a serious health kick. Back to the gym, back to the running and perhaps back to be able to seeing all of my feet all of the time. Have even brought one of those machines which tell you how much water/fat you're made up of. No idea how it does it - something to do with electric currents and resistance but will now include regular scores on blog in a kind of Adrian Molesque sort of way.

Body currently composed of ....

46 percent BBC coffee
17 percent red wine
16 percent biscuits
15 percent that chocolate which comes in 2 sticks
3 percent banana
2 percent avocado
1 percent willpower

So here's the joke ...

An explorer comes across a pygmy standing next to a dead elephant. "Did you kill this beast?" asks the explorer.

"Yes" replies the pygmy.

"What did you use?" asks the explorer.

"A big club" replies the pygmy.

"That must have been an enormous club." says the explorer ...

"Yes," says the pygmy, "we've got about 400 members."
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website