New balls please

There's life in the old dog yet.

Apparently Sky Sports are interested. They've got wind of the stunning sporting fixure that was doubles tennis played out at the Southampton Sports Centre last night. Myself and Loz (Herdman) got challenged by Lynchy, Rachel (formerly Radio Solent now South Today) and Hardy, Jemma (former mid morning show producer now executive power player with management) to a gentle game of tennis.

I mean who were they kidding? Gentle?

This was playing for keeps - or as it turned out - playing to see who would foot the bill for the following Indian takeout. (apparently it's what all the professional players do - Virginia Wade went for a Madras - the boy Becker - no sooner had he dropped his arms down from holding the the trophy aloft than he was ordering pilau rice and a garlic naan.)

So there we were - eyeball to eyeball - me and Lozza with the female opposition.

And we demolished them.

I mean - to be fair - we're all pretty ropey but Loz played a blinder and I managed to put them off with my deadly serves. (Just to explain why my serves are so definative in any game. They may play the power card at Wimbledon but I have a talent. A talent which could actually redefine the laws of physics.)

My serves go so slowly that opponents become hypnotised by the ball. You can see their eyes begin to glaze over in wonder as my ball leaves the raquet with a lack of urgency that could turn back time. So slow are my serves that several times I spotted Lynchy actually look at her watch to see what time it would arrive.

Hardy was using her calendar.

But it did the trick and victory was ours. and the curry tasted all the sweeter for it.

Naturally they've challenged us boys to a rematch. We've yet to decide which nation's cuisine we'd like to sample. But I think they may have misunderstood me when I said next week will probably be a Thai .....
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website.