Crisis management

I've so got to knuckle down and sort my life out.

It's just so typical me and yet I'm always surprised at just how bad I let it get.

I find I work best to deadlines however I always, without fail, end up leaving everything to the last minute. I should imagine that's how I entered the world and no doubt it will be the style I leave it in.

I'll jump in my coffin just as it shuts.

Usually my chosen method of chaos management is fine. You only get one deadline at a time and everything can be sorted out in time. Sometimes though you'll get what I should imagine in high powered management circles they'd called "Deadline Stacking". It's when all of a sudden, completely out of the blue, everything has to be done.

Now of course it could be argued that with a bit of planning I'd have seen it coming and that no deadline if you're told about it comes "out of the blue". However, that aside, I find myself staring at a seemingly impossible mountain to climb that needs to be climbed yesterday.

So what to do?

Am going down the pub to think about it.

Never missed a deadline yet.

So here's the joke ...

Three tortoises went on a picnic. It took them ages to crawl to a suitable spot and when they eventually got there, they realised that they had forgotten the chocolate biscuits. The two older tortoises turned to the youngest and said: "Will you pop home and fetch the biscuits?"

"Why me?" he asked.

"Because you've got younger legs."

After much persuasion, he relented, but only on the condition that they didn't start drinking the ice cold lemonade until he returned.

"We promise not to touch a drop," they said.

So the young tortoise set off on the crawl home. Well, after three hours, the other two were gasping for a drink so they took the bottle of ice cold lemonade out of the picnic basket.

As they did so a little head peered round a nearby rock and said: "If you do, I won't go!"
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website