My body is a temple ...

Am having a bad day on the whole healthy eating/you are what you eat front.

It started badly this morning when I left home without any breakfast. I'd even got healthy stuff from the supermarket last night so I could make lunch. I didn't. As a result so far I have consumed ....

1 can coke and chocolate bar (breakfast from vending maching canteen wasn't open at 0700)
3 black coffees
2 digestives
2 fried eggs, 2 sausages, chips and tomato ketchup (lunch from canteen)
1 cup of tea
1 piece of chewing gum (still chewing)

Now - I'm no dietician but even I know that's not quite the required five a day.

Playing footy on Monday night I did notice that my tummy accelerates a fraction slower than the rest of me and that if I stop suddenly it comes as a slight surprise to it.

My salad dodging days are numbered.

As soon as I finish the chocolate bar.

So here's the joke ...

Two men are out fishing in a boat and having great luck. In fact, they catch so much they have to go back early.

'This is great,' says the first man. 'We should mark the spot so we can come here again.' 'You're right,' says the second man, who promptly dives over the side and paints a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat.

They head for land, but just as they are about to dock, the first man looks at the seconds and says ....

'What if we don't get the same boat tomorrow?'
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website