Tuesday, 20 May 2008

Ever played World Cup?

Very nearly ended up doing something I haven't done for years last night.

World Cup.

Remember playing that? It's the game you play at school or down the park with your football mates when not quite enough people have turned up for a proper game. Works best with an odd number - the odd number is the official goalie and then either as individuals or pairs you try to score to go through to the next round. If you're a World Cup veteran then the "you can only score with a volley or a header rule" also applies.

So there I was in Romsey last night for the regular exhibition of high quality football. Last week there was a solid 7 a side turnout. This week just 7.

Was midly concerned we were missing something - there was a moment when we all stood around wandering what we'd forgotten about on TV etc. Everyone convinced themselves the Chelsea vs Man United game was definately on Wednesday and that no, it wasn't a Bank Holiday.

The goal posts were moved a little closer.

The uneven teams were hand picked. ("Er how about you lot versus us lot?" - the Sven model)

The additional team-with-the-most-players-can-only-have-2-touches rule instigated and away we went. And it was bloomin' marvellous.

All of us wanting to win but all of us too polite just to bang one in from 30 yards as that would go against the spirit of the (very polite) game.

Better than 11-a-side anyday.

So here's the joke ...

A young man went to a lake for a swim but when he got there, he realised he had forgotten his swimming trunks. Since nobody was about, he decided to jump in naked.

An hour later, he climbed out and was just about to get dressed when he saw two old ladies approaching. He hastily grabbed a small bucket, held it over his privates and breathed a huge sigh of relief. But when the old ladies started to stare at him, he felt decidedly awkward.

One said to him: "You know, I have a special gift. I can read minds. And I bet I can read yours."

The young man scoffed: "So you reckon you know what I'm thinking do you?"

"Yes," she said, "Right now, I bet you think that the bucket you're holding has a bottom."
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website

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