Countdown meltdown

The more observant of you will have noticed the Countdown to Mid Life Crisis-o-Meter is now sub 1000 days.

Technically I know there's no huge difference between 1000 days and 999 days but it does all now seem alarmingly close.

A lot closer than say, yesterday, for example.

Have decided I need to fully prepare for my MLC (Mid Life Crisis). Am giving some serious thought to investing in pairs of poorly fitting jeans that hang half way up my stomach, several pairs of cowboy boots and some aviator sunglasses. I also need to start drinking real ale in a bid to gain an MLP (Mid Life Paunch)

Another thing I need to start doing is making strange noises whenever I bend down to pick anything up. Sort of a cross between a sigh and a grunt.

I intend to embrace middle age wholeheartedly.

If only for the beige corduroy.

So here's the joke ...

A dog is sitting in a cinema with it's owner. The dog stares at the screen intently and growls whenever the villain appears and wags it's tail whenever the hero comes on. An old lady has been watching the dog's behaviour. She turns to it's owner and says ...

"That's quite extraordinary ...."

"You're right," says the owner.

"He hated the book."
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website