That's the current score as I splodge on my sofa writing this. Am currently armed with a cup of tea and a far too large white chocolate and strawberry crunch chocolate bar (supermarket impulse purchase - probably won't be having that impulse again.)
Anyway am watching the footy and can't quite work out if I'm fussed by it this year. It's definately not the same without the false placed optimism of England taking part. No stupid stories in the papers about middle aged men having odd tattoos done, no exotic team inspired silly haircuts and noone naming their baby "Euro 2008" much to their wife's obvious annoyance. No environment crippling plastic flags strewn in hedges and lay-bys after another failed penalty shoot out. And no booze fuelled fights involving people who yet again fail to see the irony of being an England supporter.
(Holland have just scored again)
Have decided to throw my support behind my office sweep stake team. Comparisons can be made with England. Spain on paper should do something, pundits have already mentioned that "this could be their year" and I have a whole pound riding on it.
Invariably that leads to only one thing.
And it's not a trophy.
(The Dutch nearly scored number 3)
Oh - and have decided I am too fat. My tummy no longer always goes in the same direction that I am going. Will dig out my handy fat reading gadget and provide daily updates for your amusement.
Off to play footy to work off that chocolate.
So here's the joke
A man stops by the house of his friend Jim in the Deep South of the US of A. Jim's wife answers the door.
"Is Jim there?" asks the friend
"No," replies Jim's wife, "He's gone to pick cotton."
Next day the friend stops by Jim's house again.
Again he knocks on the door and again Jim's wife answers.
"Is Jim there?" asks the man.
"No," replies the wife - "Jim's gone to pick cotton."
Next day the friend tries again. He knocks on the door of Jim's house and again it's opened by Jim's wife.
"Is Jim there?" asks the friend.
"No," replies the wife. "Jim's dead. We buried him in the backyard."
Jim's friend goes round to see Jim's grave and reads the inscription on his tombstone. It says ..
"Gone, but not for cotton."
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website