Ola!

Well done Spain!

Quality. I am ten pounds the richer and Producer Claudia is up five quid as she had Germany in the sweep stake. So as sweep stakes go it's celebrations all round on the show today. It might even distract them from taking the mickey out of my ever so slightly toasted head.

In my defence there is a reason.

This weekend was the first time the new surf board got an outing and it's fantastic! It took a while to get used to it but am slowing learning what it likes to do and when. And it fitted perfectly on top of my silly car with the new soft rack. Off I trotted to Boscombe where I spent far too long splashing around, in the process swallowing gallons of the English Coast and occasionally surfacing wearing my new seaweed toupee.

In the short too long in the sun - not enough sun cream. Silly boy.

Anyway another exciting episode in my showbiz, rock and roll lifestyle - I went sock shopping at the weekend. Why read other blogs when you can read sockshopperblog.com.

I've had enough of holes in my socks. For some inexplicable reason more or less every right sock I have has a hole in and I have no idea why. I've looked at my right foot several times and there's nothing odd about it. For example I don't have one toe bigger than the rest. Anyway it's got so bad that I decided to throw all holy socks out only to find I only had about 3 pairs left.

Hence my bulk purchase of socks but wow! How expensive!?!?! I mean anyway it's not like anyone actually gets to see them. I know everyone is moaning about the price of petrol but .... it's socks that are really driving inflation up!!

Get me the Times.

And just for the record today's are stripey blues and black. Pretty cool (as far as socks go)

So here's the joke ...

A vicar offers Harry five hundred pounds to paint his church. Harry buys some paint and starts working but he discovers he's using more paint than he expected.

Harry adds some thinner to the paint to make it last but finds he's still using too much, so he adds yet more thinner.

The pain is now too thin to use properly, but Harry carries on regardless.

Suddenly there's a crack of thunder and a voice booms out from the clouds ....

"Harry, repaint and thin no more!"