Monday, 23 June 2008

Neat trick

Here's a new magic trick you can try.

Go to the seaside on the windiest day possible. Make sure you're carrying a heavy bag with straps just too short to allow you to sling it over your shoulder comfortably without it constantly slipping down your arm.

Next locate a burger van and order a regular cheeseburger and a large polystyrene cup of piping hot black coffee. Make sure you ask the nice owner of aforementioned van that your drink is indeed hotter than the sun. Oh - and ignore any lids offered.

Ensuring that the wind speed has not dropped proceed to wander around the corner with bag teetering on shoulder, burger in one hand halfway to mouth and cup of coffee at the ready in the other. Round corner at precise moment the wind reaches terminal velocity and watch in amazement as the magic happens (you may want to say "Abracadabra" at this exact point - I chose to mutter something else altogether).

The coffee will levitate out of the cup rising into a majestic arc. At this point the wind will also cause the bag to mysteriously levitate from shoulder jerking arm and throwing the remaining contents of the cup up in the air. The magician then shows his skill by catching most of the only slightly cooled coffee straight in the face at the same time as dropping cheeseburger onto foot.

Eat your heart out David Blaine.

Actually no - that might give him ideas.

With any luck.

So here's the joke ...

A wealthy lawyer had a summer house in the backwoods of Maine. One weekend he invited a Czech friend to stay with him. The pair were out picking berries for breakfast when they were approached by two huge bears - one male, one female. The lawyer managed to escape but his friend was swallowed whole by the male bear.

The lawyer drove to the sheriff's office and begged him to come and help his friend before it was too late. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and the two men drove back to the place of attack. The bears were still there.

"He's in that one," cried the lawyer, pointing to the male bear - but the sheriff shot the female instead.

"What did you do that for?" screamed the lawyer - "I said he was in the other one."

"Exactly," said the sheriff .... "But would you believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"

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