Tuesday, 24 June 2008

What a whopper

Have just been watching a film about the World's Biggest Strawberry (note the use of capital letters to make it look more impressive).

I kid you not - it's HUGE! Five inches across - which I guess doesn't sound all that impressive but this thing is dwarfing lemons and apples. It's a little on the odd looking side and seems to have taken on a slight jelly like consistency around the edges - but it is quite definitely a strawberry. And a very large one at that.

It got me wondering. Everything in life must have a super sized version. Somewhere there must be a giant flee hopping around wondering why he's so different from all the others. Perhaps there's a whopper of a plankton drifting about in the huge oceans who has difficulty finding a pair of shoes to fit. And maybe there's a snail who's just too big to squeeze into his own shell and is the talk of all of his friends.

Average is boring.

Big is ... er .... big. Really big.

So here's the joke (best one of the year so far) ...

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were having dinner at an expensive New York restaurant. It was the place to be seen and both had dressed for the occasion.

Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and diamond tiara while Fred wore his smartest suit. But the evening was marred when the waiter bringing their desserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle sponge.

"I'm terribly sorry," said waiter.

"So you should be," replied Fred.

"Thanks to you I've got pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails."

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