Thursday, 10 April 2008

An army marches on it's (flat) stomach

Tonight is the night.

The Jon Cuthill Show team (minus Alun Newman) will be turning out in shorts to help reporter Matt train for his race. He was a bit down last week so foolishly I volunteered all of us to turn out at his next army training session.

Right now I am regretting it.

Newman has been getting some serious stick for pulling out - he's claiming he can't due to the fact his house is mid kitchen fit and wife and kids need their kitchen back. I fear it may be down to him not wanting to expose his pale knobbly knees to the general public.

For all our sakes it may turn out to be the right decision as no-one deserves to witness that but he's promised to attend the next session (I have it on tape). However I think a few phone calls may need to be made to the appropriate men and women in camoflague to see if we can't spice things up with their assault course or zip line.

Am thinking of wearing my glasses tonight so they take pity on me.

Drop and give me 50.

(The dropping part's the easy bit)

So here's the joke ....

Beryl's parrot dies, so she goes to a pet shop to get a new companion. The pet shop has a sale on hamsters, so she takes one home. Next day Beryl wakes up and finds her hamster dead in the bottom of it's cage.

She takes it back to the pet shop to complain. ' I can't replace him,' says the shop keeper, 'but tell you what, why don't you try stuffing that dead hamster in a jar and leaving it for a while. Sometimes they turn into delicious jam.'

Beryl thinks that sounds crazy but decides to give it a go. She takes the hamster, places it in a jar. A month later the smell becomes too much and she decides to bury it in the garden. One month later she notices a bunch a giant daffodils growing from the hamsters grave. She goes back to tell the shop keeper about these curious goings-on.

'That's extraordinary,' says the shopkeeper ....

'Usually you get tulips from hamster jam."
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website

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