Here's my new theory

I went surfing on Saturday.

Great fun - I'm fairly hopeless but am determined to improve and even bought myself a new board at the weekend. Whether it will actually fit in my current car is another question but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It may prove to be the world's most expensive surf board when I'm forced to buy another car to transport it to the beach. Perhaps I should have thought of that at the time.

Anyway had a lovely time down at Boscombe. Wet, windy and surprisingly not that cold in the water.

So there I am, early doors, not a soul around and spaces galore down at the seafront. Go to park and end up paying 7 quid for the pleasure. 7 quid?!! Now I appreciate it's a prime spot but it was a prime spot by an empty beach and I was only there for a couple of hours.

My theory is this - you should get an adjustment for the weather and/or number of people on the beach.

So for example it starts at the base rate of 7 quid. Rain is a couple of quid off. Wind is a further £1.50 reduction and general lack of anyone should get you a 50 percent reduction.

Therefore I should have paid - hold on have to work this out now (potentially a problem when paying for a ticket) - no more than £1.75 which I think is very reasonable.

What do you reckon? Granted the drop in income that this creates may mean the borough falls into disrepair, council tax shoots through the roof and general misery follows but at least I'll have enough money to buy a new car to take my new board to the beach.

Sorted.

So here's the joke ...

Three guys go for a job interview. The personnel officer conducting the interviews has no ears. He tells the first candidate "This job calls for observations, so I want you to make an observation about me."

The first guy says "You've got no ears."

The personnel officer is furious and promptly throws him out. The second man comes in and again is invited to make an observation.

"You've got no ears," he says.

The personnel officer goes crazy and throws the second man out. Then the final man comes in and he too is asked to make an observation.

"You must wear contact lenses," he says.

"Wow!" says the personnel officer. "That's amazing. How did you know?"

"You've got no ears ...."
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website