Daytime delivery

I think it was yesterday I told you I have bought myself a new surf board. It may prove to be one of those "run before you walk" moments but have decided the time, and the price, was right. Also the novelty of a new toy will force me to use it and thereby get better at surfing.

Anyway it comes with free delivery which is an absolute bonus as I should imagine under the new Royal Mail rules you'd need half an acre of stamps on the thing before it goes anywhere near a postbox.

But with any delivery, free or otherwise, comes the whole saga of timing.

Now if I was a gentleman of leisure I'd be wafting around in my smoking jacket all day long waiting for the doorbell to ring and the next delivery to be made. But unfortunately not being born into Royal Blood it would appear I have to work for a living which is a bit of a bind when you've got a package coming.

Granted the more organised would have checked delivery times and dates before clicking the final mouse button but being more of a free spirit (ie man) I decided to see what happens. So from today am on full alert and will be buttering up the neighbours to see if they wouldn't mind terribly having a package shaped a lot like an ironing board delivered to their doorstep.

It's either that or I wonder whether they could leave it under the flowerpot in the porch next to the spare key.

Life shouldn't be this complicated.

So here's the joke ....

A husband and wife are standing at the window admiring their garden.

'Sooner or later you're going to have to make a proper scarecrow to keep the birds off the flower beds,' says the wife.

'What's wrong with the one we've got?' asks the husband.

'Nothing,' replies the wife, ' But mothers arms are getting tired.'
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website