New board arrives ... sort of

Hurrah!!!

It's arrived! Or rather the small piece of card which tells me it tried to arrive arrived - and as I wasn't in it didn't. Arrive that is. Am off to pick up my new surf board this evening and I cannot wait. So excited. Also I've got a new leash and bag for the board. That - is very exciting news.

No really.

Next stage is to see if it will fit in my car.

This is where it may all start to fall apart as there's not much point having a surf board if you can't take it to the beach. There's only limited fun you can have in the bath with it. However having got an 8 foot Christmas tree in the blue peril (granted no roof) I'm sure it'll manage. I may look ridiculous but that is besides the point and wouldn't be the first or last time.

So here's the plan.

It's been a loooonng week this week so (and don't tell the boss) am thinking of sneaking off for a crafty surf after the show on Friday. Technically it's not sneaking off as have done the hours already but I'm one of those people who can't help but feel guilty. It's the same sort of feeling I get when I walk past a policeperson (can I say man in this PC crazed world?)

I know I haven't done anything naughty/illegal, I know I'd never think of doing anything but as soon as a policeman/woman/person appears I get an almost uncontrollable urge to whistle and look slightly shifty for no apparent reason.

Anyhow if you see a whistling surfer on a shiny new board on Friday afternoon down at Boscombe say hello - it's me.

Happy St George's Day.

So here's the joke ...

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his check-up, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.

He said, ' Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die.'

'Each morning, make him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly. make love with your husband several times a week . If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely'.

On the way home, the husband asked his wife.

'What did the doctor say?'

And the woman answered ....

"You're going to die."
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website