.. unless you surround yourself with cushions, pillows and duvets.
Another nugget of useless information has passed across the Jon Cuthill Show desk this afternoon and one that we'll be putting to good effect on tomorrow's show.
Apparently if you're over 30 you can't stand on one leg with both eyes closed whilst holding one ear for more than a minute. Quite why you'd want to stand on one leg with both eyes closed whilst holding one ear for more than a minute I'm not sure. But only people under the age of 30 can achieve this feat as the rest of us struggle due to a lack of balance.
I've just tried it and I can't.
I'm 37. Things like this don't help with my mid life crisis.
However there is also something you can do with a ruler to check your age. I cheered myself up no end when I discovered I was under 20.
And no - you don't have to measure a thing.
All will be explained tomorrow.
So here's the joke ...
A man staggers into Accident and Emergency with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt.That's when I made my mistake."
"Why?" asks the doctor. "What did you do?"
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, hey, this looks like yours!"
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Jon Cuthill is a presenter on BBC Radio Solent. You can listen to him every weekday from 9am-12.30pm, or listen again online at his website